So we left Dublin at 6pm on Thursday and after a smooth enough flight landed in Malta at about 11.30pm local time. Ger had obviously never heard of travelling light so it was another while before we got his bags and made our way out to search for our Airbnb host who offered to pick us up...offered/charge us €30. Queue us standing around like 2 dopes for another half an hour until we saw a random African guy in the corner of the car park holding a “Carlos Gerrard” sign. So we chanced our luck and turned out to be the main man. Odd ball was an understatement. Once he found another guest Carlos we were on our way to Sliema cooped up in the back of a Toyota HI ace. Not an ideal start. The apartment itself was lovely and right in the centre of Sliema so we thought we’d head out to get a bite to eat and some drinks. Turned out the party scene was a bit further to the west so it was a date for 2 in McDonalds followed by a Maltese McFlurry. Wild first night!
After staying up far too late watching True Detective in bed, we were up early on Friday to go grab some breakfast down by the marina. After a quick omelette we had a bit of a walk around Sliema which is pretty nice and right opposite the beautiful Valetta so the views are incredible. As we had a pool party lined up in the afternoon we headed back to the ranch for a couple of scoops and to change clothes for an All White party. The pool party was located just off the beach and was fairly kicking by the time we arrived. The crowd itself was a bit weird and one guy in particular quite disturbing who just seemed to be grinding anyone who walked by him…but hey whatever you get your kicks from! After a few scoops we were mingling and even giving some Irish dancing tips to the locals. The party finished up at 7pm as there was another White party that night, so time to grab some extra soakage for the night ahead at a famous Maltese burger place, New York’s Best. That’s it…local cuisine. They pride themselves on serving their burgers pink and my Jesus they were amazing. Or maybe that was the 8 Coronas speaking.
After food we headed back to the apartment where Ger decided to pass out (night shifts at hom) and let me on my toblerone. So I decided to meet up with some of the locals we had met earlier in a bar nearby which just so happened to have karaoke. I’m still not 100% sure how it went down but the image in my head is just of 8 old men sitting the bar watching an Irish guy singing Backstreet Boys by himself. I made a prompt exit and picked up Ger before heading to the after party.
We arrived at the picturesque Villa club in the heart of St Julian’s just after midnight and it was fairly empty. In fact it reminded me of the local GAA disco when you are 15 and one side has guys plastered to the wall and the other girls kind of dancing. We stuck around for a bit of a boogie until calling it a night….Long day!
Saturday was a dark day when we rose with the previous night taking its toll, so we gingerly made our way towards a pizza place for some breakfast. Once filled up we decided to get the ferry across to Valetta to see some sights in the capital. Valetta itself is extremely beautiful and getting lost in the colonial streets is a must. We stopped by the famous St John’s cathedral, roamed the old streets and then met with Ger’s friend who lives in Malta for some coffee and chilling down by the harbour.
We agreed to meet up with them later that evening so they dropped us back to the apartment before we have a few pre scoops and headed out to St Julian’s again to watch the Brazil -Paraguay game. Ah God bless the Brazilians! Once the game was over we made our way across to the Nordic Bar to meet Ger’s friend where it was absolutely pumping! Jason Derulo moves were getting thrown around like it was nobody’s business and we befriended many local Maltese people with curly hair. We were back in the leabas around 4am with another burger in hand.
Another slow start for the Boys in Green on Sunday due to the nights antics, so after some important brunch by the marina we decided to chill for the day by the beach with a few locals and a couple of scoops to help survive. The bay in Sliema itself is lovely and perfect for sunbathing and a quick dip! Afterwards we stopped off at the famous burger joint again except this time they seemed to serve us completely raw burgers which didn’t go down to well!
After a quick change we headed back down the marina for a few drinks and made our way up to St Julian’s for more fun. We stopped off at this bar for a couple and only realised after a few minutes that it seemed to be a full on hooker bar. The big give away was the fat 50 year old English lad smooching the 20 year old Maltese girl in a mini skirt….Some men have all the luck! So we quickly legged it and headed back to the main strip for some boogieing but called it a night earlier as the previous nights had taken their toll. Getting on!
We were up quite early on the last day to ensure we got the place cleaned up before the owner came by to drop us to the airport. It was a miracle we got the place sorted and even managed to sneak another omelette in. When the guy arrived he wasn’t too impressed with our massive rack of bottles in the corner and made it kind of awkward! Ah feck him. After a quick drive we were at the airport 3 hours early to ensure Ger could check all his bags in for his 4 day visit to Malta.
Being totally honest, I didn’t even see a small portion of Malta. It seems to have so much in 3 small islands that you need to dedicate a holiday to just culture OR party. Trying to do both is just impossible! Gozo and Comino are a must and I’ll definitely make sure I see them once I come back next summer!